Hairline Magazine - www.hairline.org.uk

Hairline Weblog - http://hairline.org.uk/category/blog-2008/

Go check it out!

See, thing is, there is this 9 year old girl in New Zealand that has hidden her real name for some time now, and has told everyone that she likes to be called K. Random, huh? Well, it is until you learn her real name. Her parents, in a stroke of evil genious, decided to call her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. I kid you not. Read all about it here. See, I don’t know what drives parents to be this cruel. I mean, ok that you love the idea of calling your girl Apple (random, but acceptable), or even Consuela, but come on, give the little girl a breather! She stands no chance in school when the secret of her real name comes out!

If you have read the article, you will see that parents have named their kids other things too. There is a poor child that goes around the world being called Number 16 Bus Shelter (guess where he was conceived…), another one who is called Yeah Detroit and someone who is called Keenan Got Lucy (guess who the parents are! And who is proud of having bagged a Lucy…).

So Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, or Miss K, as you prefer, I wish you a future full of happiness, and new name, and some normal life. Oh yes, and that your parents are punished in the town’s public square by dancing the hula, naked, for 100 days straight non-stop…

Honestly, you asked for it, I would have left it at “I’m on holidays”…

So I thought I deserved a Chinesse take-away. And real nice it was (though I am really full right now). So at the end of the meal, which I had while drinking a pint of Strongbow), I kicked back, relaxed, and opened my Chinesse Fortune Cookie. And that’s when it hit me. That cute little message they put inside, your ‘fortune reading’. I couldn’t get one of those ‘Work hard, and prosperity will follow’, or the random ones that say ‘bird with blue wings, will follow prey that is green’ and you never know what they mean. Mine was ‘He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead’. Cheers dears!

I think I need another pint of cider. Or two…

You can find the video here. Make up your own mind about it (personally, I don’t think it’s that good an advert anyways), let me know what you think about the situation.  I honestly think we should start a motion, a list of signatures, and send it to those guys in the Heinz company and see what they say. If we get more than 202 signatures, double that at least, will they put the advert back? I mean, we would be more than the guys that actually complained!

It’s sad that we still read this kind of story. Homophobia is alive and kicking. I think we should kick back.

I’m only telling you this because twenty minutes ago, I was bored at my desk waiting for what I had previously scanned get through the computer system to my PC, and I saw a green whiteboard marker lying around my desk for no reason. It isn’t mine. I picked it up and in what I can only call an action-reaction situation, I opened it and smelled it. Or tried to, since I couldn’t smell anything after the first sniff. So I did it again. Nothing. Third time lucky (as they said) some sense of what a marker smells off came to my nostrils, but it was a very faint smell, so I tried a fourth time, and a fifth time, by which point, not only did I finally smell the horrendous smell, but I had started having a bit of a headache.

Fastforward twenty minutes, to right now, and the headache has not only not gone away, but there is a fluffly pink elephant seductively winking in front of me, a unicorn sleeping in the corner and some gobblings banging the windows trying to get into the office. I really feel like I should tell someone that we have suddenly transported to Narnia, but I feel like if I do tell them, they wouldn’t believe me…  In any case, I shall create a little fortress around my desk in case those gobblins break in…

See, thing is, it’s not like I’ve been doing loads of fun stuff that has kept me away from the internet. It’s more a case of over-worked at the office, and trying to have a bit more of a life, rather than staying in the sofa every evening, watching television. It’s not really working, but I am trying (darn television). I have, though, done some fun stuff that I want to share with you out there, my fans (hello mother, again!). I will do it soon, I promise! I would right now, but it is 20 minutes past midnight, and my brain is a bit fried… Just having a bit of a internet me-time before turning the lights off and nodding off…

 Will catch you guys soon then! Promise…

On the good news front, though, he will, apparently, be around Edinburgh for some dates, as he is doing four shows with his mate Jason Byrne. Just four shows. And not on his own, but still, I will be able to get my Hills-dose for the year. I might even try and make the four shows… or three of them… At least twice. I will see the show twice. Oh yeah! Here’s a pic of last year’s Fringe, when I saw him down the Royal Mile (I’m not the guy he is talking to!). Nice bloke he is, he gave me an autograph, and chatted for a couple of minutes with me… I just wish I had said something more interesting than: Hi, I love your show. D’oh!

And on other good news, in fact, awesome news, The Terrible Infants play is back! Hurray!! If you didn’t see them last year, this play is a must! Here’s the link to their website, have a look, and see what you will be missing if you don’t go see them this Fringe! They might very well be the best group out there during the August month… Do youself a favour and go see them.

More Fringe news, in the near future!