I learned today why my diet-enduring colleague is a diet-enduring person. He is apparently getting married in a couple of months, and he has made a pact with his wife-to-be to both loose some weight. So they are a diet-enduring-married-couple-to-be. It all sounds so nice, both working together to form a family, a house, a life together… and some fat-free wedding photographs.
And see, I am so slightly moved by this, by the fact that the diet-enduring colleague is getting married (even if a marriage lasts an average of 11.6 years before it ends on divorce according to this Guardian article! But all is not lost marriage-believers, it also states that divorces are on the low… which I was surprised at, but anyways…), that I have decided to help him on his endeavour. Yes, me, 4-’Apple Lattices’-a-day-eater, the guy he called the ‘Epitome of Evil’, is going to help this diet-enduring colleague. I am THAT nice.
And how am I going to help him? Well, I’ll compromise. I will only eat 2 ‘Apple Lattices’ a day in front of him. And just, a quarter of a Swiss Roll. Also, I will halve my Thorntons chocolate bar, and will throw an apple or banana in for good measure. All this, just so he doesn’t feel that bad. Hopefully, this will help him. If not, you can’t say I didn’t try…
I think you’re very very naughty
You could also tell your colleague about this thing called PhotoShop, supposedly it can help with fat-free wedding photos
lol photo shop is a great idea and you are an evil person you know it!